


Metal Balcony

by LoudSymphony



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Crack Crossover, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 09:26:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18312830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoudSymphony/pseuds/LoudSymphony
Summary: A spoof of a fic I wrote. April Fools. Wrote this in half an hour so don't expect quality.





	Metal Balcony

Wam-uwu, ACDC and Car strolls towards the Xerxian ziggurat. They kicked down the door and said:

"MEIN FAILURE! WE HAVE MADE, THING OF IMMORTALITY!"

"Ok cool, what it do?" the king says.

"THIS!"

Wam-uwu unveils a metal cage that sprung out of nowhere, revealing a rabid human, fully naked and scratching his head like a Neanderthal.

"THIS MAN IS GOD!" Wam-uwu sez.

Then the Sun shone on the vampire and it died.

"THIS MAN JUST DIED!" the king said.

"Nani?? But, this vampwire, it could dwu ewewything!!~"

Car vroomed in disappointment. The entire ACDC band performed a sad guitar riff.

"Get out of the Reich Palace! Me no want you here!"

"K." the entire band of ACDC said in unison. Wam-uwu and ACDC got inside Car and vroomed out of the ziggurat, into the sunset where they would enjoy a romantic vacation for a nearly a century I guess. If thats too short, you readers can just assume King Crimson skipped time.

Also, Joseph Joestar exists in the FMAverse and is best friend with Edward Elric's son, Tommy "Gun" Elric.

Fast forward to after when World War 2 was supposed to happen but not really because Roy Mustang isn't Hitler. Joseph Joestar is on a train with Tommy Elric, talking about guns because Tommy is a true mafioso. Suddenly, a blonde vampire burst into the cabin in the middle of the night and said, "Misturr Joestar! I am here to take your body!"

Tommy Elric shot the vampire with his Tommy gun.

"Mere guns cannot stop me-"

Joseph Joestar pulled another Tommy Gun, breathed primitive hamon into the bullets that were coated with bug silk because he is prepared for everything and shot the vampire. The vampire died.

"Joseph-kun, you are good mafioso." the blonde Elric said.

"Arigathanks." Joseph said.

Meanwhile on the other side, Alphonse is in the car driving his waifu and daughter to the train station. His daughter, Cher Chang was reading My Hero Academia mangas. Meanwhile, his wife was reading Alphonse doujins. Suddenly, a flat gender-ambigious person jumped in front of the car.

"I am going to eat you." the man said.

"Envy, is that you?"

"Yes."

Alphonse summoned his stand, named Fullmetal Alchemist. It is him when he was armor. Envy turned into big godzilla monster. Alphonse's stand went inside the mouth and crushed the philosopher's stone.

Envy died.

They drove off into the sunset. By sunset I meant train station, where Riza, Roy and their daughter Gina were waiting.

While waiting, Roy tried to light a cigarette with his flame alchemy but ended up blowing his face up. He is currently being sent into the emergency room. Meanwhile, Riza was teaching Black Hayate to use a rifle to shoot squirrels at a train station. Gina was watching. She didn't do anything. Just watching.

Finally, the Alphonse, Mustang and Elric family arrived at the train station. They all hugged each other. But at that fateful night, suddenly a car crashed into the train station. And that particular car was Car, together with Wam-uwu and ACDC. The entire party went "Nani??" while ACDC was singing Highway to Hell, turning the trainstation into a Railway to Heck.

They started fighting. Edward Elric and Alphonse fought Car, but couldn't do anything but punch its glazend, steel-like body. Roy Mustang attempted to fight ACDC with his flame alchemy, but he couldn't match up to the sheer fire ACDC was playing. Roy turned into a metalhead with long hair and shitty makeup, severely disappointing Riza. Gina and Cher were in the corner reading manga. Nice.

Joseph Joestar and Tommy Elric fighted Wam-uwu. But they found it hard to resist his glistening abs and bulging biceps. But then, Tommy Elric pulled out his tommy gun and said, "Your guns are no match for my Tommy Gun!"

He shotted the pillar man. The pillar man was still standing. Wam-uwu slapped Tommy Elric straight to Valhalla, where he will now enjoy a feast with 72 valkyries and meet the Allfather himself.

"My mafioso friend! Nooooooo!" Joseph Joestar let out a shriek of agony, as if he accidentally dropped his caesar salad on the ground. He stood up to Wam-uwu and punched him in his abs. Wam-uwu fell into the train cabin and sent him on a one-way trip to Heck.

"Cwurse youwu, Josephu Joestar-chan!" he yelled as he got sent to his job interview with Stan, Satan's younger brother. 

Joseph Joestar turned around to see Riza slapping his husband, with his black corgi shitting on Roy's shoes. Roy was yelling at her that it wasn't just a phase and that this was what he truly was. And then Joseph punched some hamon into Roy, and suddenly he's back to normal. With the power of friendship, Roy blew up the entire band. 

Now all thats left is Car. Edward was having difficulty now that he forgot how to use alchemy, and Alphonse resorted into transforming to a level beyond Godhood, the Super Carphonse. But it wasn't enough. Car was too stronk. Then Joseph threw a hamon-infused wrench into Car's tires and it deflated all of his tires. 

"Curse you, human!" Car said in his skeletor voice. Suddenly, Satan himself came out of a portal and passed a stone mask to Car. Car underwent a magical girl transformation that turned him into Optimus Prime. Except he's evil. 

"Your next line is, 'Autobots, roll out!', isn't it!" Joseph said. 

"Autobots, roll out- GAAAASP." Optimus said. And no, he didn't gasp. He said gasp. Suddenly, a hidden volcano conveniently placed under him erupted, sending him into space. He stopped thinking. 

And thats how Joseph Joestar saved Amestris. The end.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you had fun sufferring through this.


End file.
